英文 简历 中致命的大错

　　Finished 8th in my high school graduating class of 10.

　　Qualifications: No education or experience.

　　I am relatively intelligent, obedient and loyal as a puppy.

　　My compensation should be at least equal to my age.

　　Reason for Leaving: It had to do with the IRS, FBI and SEC.

　　Fired because I fought for lower pay.

　　Size of employer: Very tall, probably over 65 .

　　Please disregard the enclosed resume-it is terribly out of date.

　　Reason for Leaving: My boss said the end of the world is near.

　　Reason for Leaving: The owner gave new meaning to the word paranoia. I prefer to elaborate privately.

　　英文 简历 打字错误与语法错误

　　Here are my qualifications for you to overlook.

　　Strengths: Ability to meet deadlines while maintaining composer.

　　I am a rabid typist.

　　Work History: Performed brain wave tests,1879-1981.

　　After receiving advice from several different angels, I have decided to

　　pursue a new line of work.

　　Accounting cleric.

　　As indicted, I have over five years of experience analyzing investments.

　　Suspected to graduate earlynce analyzing investments.

　　Suspected to graduate early next year.

　　Disposed of $2.5 billion in assets.

　　Proven ability to track down and correct erors.

　　Accomplishments: Oversight of entire department.

　　Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details.

　　Accomplishments: Completed 11 years of high school.

　　英文 简历 不应有的幽默

　　Note: Keep this resume on top of the stack. Use all others to heat your house.

　　Assisted in daily preparation of large quantities of consumable items in a fast-paced setting. (Translation: Short-order cook.)

　　But wait...theres more. You get all this business knowledge plus a grasp of marketing that is second nature.

　　I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse.

　　My fortune cookie said, Your next interview will result in a job-and I like your company in particular.

　　Title: Another resume from the Profiles in Excellence series.

　　Also Known As: Mr. Productivity, Mr. Clever, Mr.Fix-it.

　　Trustworthy references available upon request-if I give them a few bucks.

　　Lets meet so you can ooh and ahh over my experience.